wednesday, and hopeful. our morning started at five and a little rough. five am sharp in the shower i hear, "ouch ****", and i know they have begun. making lunch another and another and so on...

by the time i checked in with her at 5:20 six down. even that is a lot for TN patients, but then again, maybe it is not. we are new to this world and this amazing group of people known as Trigeminal Neuralgians. Breathe... and they are gone as quickly as they came for her.

Her appointment was yesterday and we liked the doctor very much. Dr. Brent Morgan in Dallas. Lots of questions and concerns came from us and a lot of info and he wants her pain free talk and we feel better. he is sending her to another neurologist only one more time. he absolutely wants to make sure it is not MS. once he knows for sure, even though he is almost certain it is not, he is moving forward. he gave her lots of options, but feels she is a really good candidate for MVD surgery. he thinks she is a typical TN on the left with a vessel pressing. he really wanted to know what SHE wanted. what we wanted, and she explained that if she could help it, she does not want to live with this. he explained it is a very personal decision and that sometimes people feel they CAN live with it, but she is young, and agrees they should try to make the pain go away. sooooooo, it a nutshell we need to rule out MS again. that will be next week. i will keep everyone posted.

as for me, i am going to be the rock she needs. i am going to pick my friends brains to see what they think. all of my tn friends are living with this everyday and i trust their opinions. i am grateful for their opinions.

also my family has been great. thanks guys.

i am going to get advised today for school. bring it! haha.

This is a picture I took in Maine. We went to Maine, wondering if we were going to like it enough to live there. Our plan was to come home and start to look for jobs there if we just fell head over heels in love. haha. We did love it, but not enough to live there.

Shelly got sea sick, actually a pretty color of green, and I was just plain cold. Who knew a year later we would be in Rhode Island for a while and LOVING it cold and all.

I keep remembering all of the vacations and fun small adventures we used to take, and I am hoping we will still have many more in the future. I think we will.

Shelly sees her neurosurgeon on the 20th. Options, options, options.

I have been driving back and forth a few times a week to Graham to temp. It is kind of fun working together again. Finn has his own dog walker on those days so he is loving it. It is a commute! Four hours a day. She was staying with family until recently, but they ended up moving. We are looking at options for her to stay in Graham a few days a week. There isn't much in Graham outside of a Wal Mart. It is supposed to be the biggest square in America though... Not too sure if I believe it.

People are so friendly, you almost forget about the things it is missing. Small town vibe with lots of smiles.

Things are pretty much the same right now. I just wanted to update family and friends on how she is doing. She is doing okay, but her TN has progressed. Wind, showers, and brushing her teeth are beginning to cause attacks. Her spirits are high and mine are hopeful for good news and some answers on the 20th. I have found an amazing group of friends through a support group that are living with and people who love people who are living with this. I want to say to them, that i appreciate them. I thank them for their support and kindness, as does Shelly. It is nice to know that there are other people dealing with this thing. Nice and scary. I have come to care about these people and it does hurt to know all of them are in such pain.

Please keep us in your thoughts. Love to all of our friends and family. xo

what's up?

happy friday to all! it is a really really beautiful one today.
what's up?
well...finn is good. he is cute and B-A-D all at the same time. we love him, i LOVE him, shelly loves him. haha. he is learning to mind better everyday. i do not even think the doggie prozac might be necessary anymore.
shelly, is finding out on monday which neurosurgeon she will be seeing and what exactly the surgery entails. she knows that she does not want to live with this anymore. pills and electric like seizures coming from no where is not her thing. she refuses them, and i agree. NO ELECTRIC like shocks in the face for this family. go away!!!!!! :)
my family outside of shelly and finn are great! they always are. grandmommy is moving in with mom and michelle until she decides what do to. buy, rent, or even find a cool retirement place where she can dance the nights away with fellow friends she will meet.
me, well, i am doing good. i am temping and i think that is the best right now. i am starting school AGAIN in the spring, and wished that i had taken classes this fall. i received a nice little grant and hoping my aid will fare well also.
i am just a tad nervous when it comes to school. sometimes i even have dreams that i am back in high school or junior high and i can't get into my locker. that was so frustrating. these dreams even consist of me being in my mini skirt, aka, uniform, trying do some random routine and not doing the same thing everyone else is doing. i think i did that a few times. the sad thing is, in my dreams i am the age i am now, and you can only imagine how frightful that must look.
i loved school, but i was AWFUL in school. if it came to art, theater, or anything non academic i blew through it, but give me a math problem or a sentence breakdown in front of me i had -zero confidence. i tried everything in school and wasn't ashamed of it. art and theater one day and then turn around and enjoy cheering with my friends. it was the actual work that stumped me every time.
stopping at my associates has only gotten me so far and it is always a gnawing feeling for me to just finish! so...how do i know that i will actually be successful after many many attempts at this even up until recently?
i think you know when it is right. i think you know when you should just do it. i hear, that it is never too late and i truly believe that.
i have a great support group and i even have a tutor for math built in. her name is michelle and damn it if she isn't a math major. that one, she is a smarty pants, and i am so glad!
enough with the school of life, i have done it. i think it is time for just school. the school that helps with my mind and my personal growth as well as helping land a good job. ha.
i think the academic fairies are on my side this time. shake off the old art brushes and camera, because i am going.
academic fairies i hope you have a lot of fairy dust to sprinkle on me ~ because i think i will need it.